One of our relatives is a priest that serves a mission in Panama.  He posted this link today on Facebook, and it inspired me to post.

 http://vinformation.famvin.org/2009/06/humility/

 As I watched this simple slide show, I started to wonder “How has this message been lost?”  Truly it was fundamental to Christ’s teaching.  In fact it is fundamental to the teaching of most of the world’s religions.  Yet, as I interact with others … watch tv … see human behavior daily … I feel that humility is not seen as a badge of honor – but more as a weakness in today’s society.

Humility is critical to leading a spiritual life.  One must “set aside the ego” in order to truly release the god within and live a holy life. 

I love to ask people this question, “Is it better to be right, or to be kind?”  I get a mix of responses.  People with humility immediately answer that it is better to be kind … yet, people with humility cast no judgment on anyone who answers either way.  People with humility recognize that everyone is answering from their unique “seat on the bus.”  People with humility do not try to convince the others to their point of view, they just hope to open them up to the possibility that there may be another perspective.

I was taught from a young age the value of humility, kindness, and being “nice.”  My mother embodied humility and was a wonderful role model for the family.  She was a patient listener.  She never let her ego dictate her behavior or decisions.  She was the most unselfish person I have ever met.

I tried to live those values throughout my school years and into corporate life.  After all, they served me well for many years.  Throughout school and in my home life, living those values was admired and rewarded.

In corporate life, it was interesting.  As I moved my way up the corporate ladder, I began to realize that humility was not seen as a strength.  Rather, those who considered the human factor, people’s feelings, respected everyone (even the weak performers), gave the benefit of the doubt – they were seen by some as weak and powerless. 

This first came to light for me during a routine teleconference.  I was sitting in our corporate office in Newark with fellow directors and VPs.  We had colleagues on the call from various offices:  NJ, PA, MN, GA, FL.  At around 4:00 the director in Atlanta chimed in, “Excuse me, I’m going to need to leave the call.”  As we heard the closing “beeps” as she disconnected, eyes around the table rolled.  One person went so far as to say, “Must be nice to leave work this early!”

I knew her personally, and realized she had to pick up her child from daycare.  The traffic in the Atlanta metro area is very challenging.  If she didn’t get on the road by at least 4:30, she might miss the daycare close at 6:00.  The traffic was unpredictable and she knew this was the right amout of “cushion time” to ensure she made it on time.

I chimed in quietly to the folks who were sitting near me, “You know the traffic in Atlanta is horrible.  She just needs to make sure she picks up her child before day care closes.”  My VP shook his head and muttered, “Theresa, you’re too nice.”

It was an epiphany moment for me.  It was the first time that I realized that the one thing that was rewarded during my childhood and early adulthood was now seen as a disadvantage and a weakness.  It was something I should hide.  That made me very sad.

My nature is to “want to please” — So, for the next several years I was a “closet nice person.”  I couldn’t help but be nice, because that is who I am at my core.  Yet, I had to keep it under wraps.  I couldn’t let others see the nice.  I had to disguise any decisions that may be perceived as kind or thoughtful, as “smart business decisions” that were emotionless and calculated purely based on logic.  That was what was rewarded – being perceived as making the tough, heartless decisions.  “Yes, people will lose their jobs, but this is business.”  “Yes, that person will be humiliated and crushed, but this is business.”

You can only stay in the closet so long.  Your soul, your true self, longs to express itself and serve its purpose.  In the end, I just had to get out of that environment and find one where I could be myself.

For all of you closet nice people, wear your humility, your kindness, your unselfish love like the badge of honor it is!  Be proud and walk with your head up high.  Although, that’s funny, you’re not about being bold and proud — because in the end, it’s not about you, is it?

God bless you humble people!  Your quiet strength is healing this world.

It has been way too long since I’ve posted any thoughts on this blog!  It appears I have been “sucked into the hairball” of corporate life.  The gravitational pull is very strong, and I will need to fight hard to find balance. 

 

This morning I was inspired to share some thoughts on reading I was doing on the Dalai Lama’s web page http://www.dalailama.com/page.18.htm  .  This quote was mentioned on his page, and it hit home for me:

 

“The more the practitioner engages in activities and thoughts that are focused and directed toward the fulfillment of others’ well-being, the fulfillment or realization of his or her own aspiration will come as a by-product without having to make a separate effort.”

– Je Tsong Khapa, Great Exposition of the Path to Enlightenment

 

In my life I have found this to be true.  When I begin to focus solely on my own well-being, my own success, my own ego – it is not very satisfying.  In fact, the results are often contrary to what I had been hoping for.  When, however, I focus on the good of others – great things happen for me.

 

Each morning I wake up and state my intention for that day.  That intention is always to make a positive difference in someone’s life.  I do my best to stay focused on that intention during my interactions throughout the day.  When I go to bed each night I reflect back, “Did I make a positive difference in someone’s life today?”  It is uplifting to consider that someone else is in a better place, simply from an interaction we had during the day – be it a conversation, sharing advice, participating in training, sharing a communication, etc.

 

With the gravitational pull of the “hairball of life,” which is especially strong in a corporate setting, one must be more conscious of the original intention for the day.  I sometimes need reminders to help me stay on the path and not get distracted.  I have some quotes hanging on my bulletin board posted near my computer monitor.  I have books on my guest table that are “healthy reading.”  I sometimes wear a piece of jewelry with a spiritual meaning, like my silver Buddha, to serve as a visual reminder of my life intention.

 

What are you doing to lead a productive and fulfilling life?  What is your daily intention?  What reminders do you use to stay on the path? 

I have been on a reading frenzy the last few weeks … juggling several books.  Just completed Joel Goldsmith’s “Spiritual Interpretation of Scripture.”  Originally written in 1947, this author inspired Eckart Tolle’s recent writings.  After reading it, I can see how these thoughts are a foundation for Tolle’s work.

 

He opens with a George Bernard Shaw quote, “This is true joy in life:  the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.  The being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap-heap;  the being a force of nature instead of a little clot of illnesses complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”

 

Goldsmith emphasizes the uplifting message that we are each here for a great cause — each one of us a “place where God shines through.”  How beautiful to know that I am more than just my thoughts, my body, and my day-to-day actions — but am actually a vessel for God’s work and His message! 

 

“Your purpose is to be the Light;  to let that Light shine, that those who are not yet illumined may find in you a hope.”  This line hit home for me.  In the years after I first left Prudential, I know I had found a spiritual “sweet spot” — amazingly, without even trying.  I lived each day to the fullest, focusing almost completely on providing service to others, giving them hope, showing them possibilities, and helping to build confidence and optimism in others.  Period.  That was it – every day.  The amazing thing about it, was I was actually finding paid work to do just that.  Sure, on the surface the work was teaching a class on DISC, or doing some executive coaching – but under it all, I know I was “shining a light” of sorts, giving energy to others. 

 

At the time I knew it in an unconscious way, but not in an ego way.  That was what made that time so special.  My ego was not in charge and, thus, never got in the way.

 

After “riding the wave” for several years, I made the choice to go back to full-time work.  It wasn’t a light decision – I struggled with it.  I would be giving up not only a lot of freedom and free-time and high-paying work – but somehow, deep down, I knew this would “dim the light” for me.  And, after about a year, it did.

 

It’s so gradual, you don’t even realize it’s happening.  Then, I remember it distinctly, in February of 2007, WHOMP!  The ego had returned!  I struggled with the need to be respected, the need to feel important – my ego wept for itself and blamed the world.   I remember meeting my dear friend, Annmarie, and she said, “Your aura is dull.”  My God, she was right!

 

Fortunately, this period was a huge wake-up call – and a spiritual lesson that I needed to learn in order to fully embrace my “real self” again.  It’s as if I couldn’t appreciate the Presence, without having gone through this pain period.  Perhaps it was to teach me how to dig out – so that I could also help others dig out.

 

A year later, I am still digging my way out spiritually.  But I’m back on track!  I am back up on the wave!  The signs are all there.  I feel the light around myself again.  And I know others see it/feel it too.  In the last two weeks I had two very challenging speaking engagements.  Each time I prepared as best I could, then I reached within and knew that God would work through me to take care of the rest.  The perfectionist in me wanted to have all the answers written in the script and on the handouts … yet, I knew most of what would matter would happen “in the moment” through divine intervention.  It did! 

 

Now, I just have to watch out for my ego stepping in to take credit for these successes and getting all “full of itself.”

 

A big lesson I’ve had to learn is that it is possible to be a Light of God and a healthy spiritual being while working inside an organization.  This is very hard, though – since everything around you is about ego.  You are annually “labeled and rated” on a performance appraisal (ego!) … you receive a certain bonus amount (ego!) … you are credited with doing good work or not (ego) … you are included “in the circle” or not (wow … big ego!)  You are driven to feed the ego with everything around you.  Yet, if you can find a way to step back, stay grounded, and look within – you can be a beacon of Light even in this ego-driven environment.  It is WORK – discipline, follow-through, trust, and commitment!  But it can be done. 

 

Stay tuned!

 

I am re-reading the classic, “Discover the Power Within You” by Eric Butterworth.  This book was the first to really free my conscience from the burden of organized religion.  While I appreciate the spirit of community and the values that are reinforced through religion, I sensed that Jesus’ real message had been lost in a sea of dogma and man-made rules and rituals.

 

The crux of the book’s message is this:  “The aim of the spiritual evolutionary process in you is to produce a man who completely manifests the inner life of the spirit.”  Jesus came to provide us with instruction and tools to achieve that.

 

Some other quotes from the book that hit home for me:

“In his search for the ‘holy grail’ man has looked everywhere and in vain, but he has failed to look within himself.”

“… there is no place in all the world where you can get closer to God than where you are right now.”

“… when you come to yourself, when you wake up, when suddenly you come alive to the within of you, the depths of you, then God is very real to you—not as a person separate from you, but as an added dimension of you, as a living presence ever with you.”

“We are human in expression but divine in creation and limitless in potentiality.”

“God is in you as the ocean is in a wave.”

 

Butterworth shares, “Christianity has been exclusive and sectarian, but if Jesus’ concept of the Divinity of Man could be clearly understood and widely disseminated, His teaching would sweep the world and create a great spiritual revolution.  He taught, ‘Ye shall know the Truth and the Truth shall make you free.’ (John 8:32)”

 

Are we on the cusp of this revolution?  I believe we are.  There are new thought leaders, new books, and new communities of thought that are embracing this teaching and creating a new mindset.  Old books by previous thought leaders are coming back to life – like Butterworth’s book.  How far will it spread and how fast?

 

I am so excited to be part of this spiritual revolution!

Just finished another good book, “The Alchemist,” by Paulo Coelho.  This is a novel about an Andalusian shepherd boy who travels from his homeland in Spain to the Egyptian Pyramids in search of treasure.   What starts out as a quest to find earthly treasure ends up being a discovery of the treasure within.  He is driven to follow his dream and by following it, he discovers true joy and the purpose of life.  Some of the learning points:

“The secret of life is to fall seven times and get up eight times.”  “It’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them.”  “Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should live their lives, but none about his or her own.”  “[the world's greatest lie] at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what’s happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.”  “… one great truth on this planet:  whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe.  It’s your mission on earth.”  “The Soul of the World is nourished by people’s happiness.”  “To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only real obligation.”  “…when you really want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”  “… people are capable at any time in their lives of doing what they dream of”  “When each day is the same as the next, it’s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day when the sun rises.”  “Learn to recognize omens and follow them.”  “… every blessing ignored, becomes a curse.”  “The closer one gets to realizing his Personal Legend, the more that Personal Legend becomes his true reason for being.”  “… intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life, where the histories of all people are connected, and we are able to know everything, because it’s all written there.”  “If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man.  Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living right now.” 

“Forget about the future and live each day according to the teachings, confident that God loves his children.  Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity.”  “… wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.  You’ve got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.”  “There is only one way to learn.  It’s through action.”  “… this natural world is only an image and a copy of paradise.  The existence of this world is simply a guarantee that there exists a world that is perfect.  God created the world so that, through its visible objects, men could understand his spiritual teachings and the marvels of His wisdom.”  “People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them.”  “… no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”  “… all people who are happy have God within them.”  “… anyone who interferes with the Personal Legend of another thing never will discover his own.”  “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve:  the fear of failure.”  “When you are loved, you can do anything in creation.  When you are loved, there’s no need at all to understand what’s happening, because everything happens within you …”  “when we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”  “… the Soul of God was his own soul … and he could perform miracles.”  “No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world.  And normally he doesn’t know it.” 

 Such beautiful messages!  So many themes weave into what other great thinkers and authors have shared as well — God is within you … we are all connected … follow your dream and trust the universe to support you along the journey.  This is a powerful story that will get you thinking about your life and your dream.  Are you living joyously and with enthusiasm as you pursue your dream?  Or have you settled for something that is “known” or “safe” due to fear of the unknown?  How many settle for the safety of mediocrity, when there is such potential and such abundance?

It reminds me of a story about Garfield the cat.  He walks into a pet store and sees his animal friends locked up in cages.  This disturbs Garfield, but then he gets an idea.  He runs through the store, unlatching the cages and yelling, “Freedom!  Freedom!  Freedom!”  To his surprise, the animals did not leave their cages.  In fact, many backed into the far corners of the cage — frightened and upset.  Garfield was perplexed.  Then he thought for a moment.  Aha!  He ran through the pet store slamming the cage doors shut yelling, “Security!  Security!  Security!” 

Have you become comfortable in a cage?  Or are you running free enjoying the freedom of the journey?

I finished “A New Earth” this week.  I cannot say enough good things about this book.  It truly sheds a whole new light on spirituality and life.  The last two chapters were so impactful.  Many things hit home for me … and many I will have to come to terms with.  “Living up to an image that you have of yourself or that other people have of you is inauthentic living” – Wow, how many of us are caught up in the ego-centric pattern of living?  And the bigger question, how do we break out of it?

With the work I do, I come across so many people who are searching, groping, longing for happiness and meaning in their lives.  I watch as people hop from job to job … from relationship to relationship …. Wanting a job or a partner to “make them happy.”  They will continue this pattern with a lot of frustration.  Tolle writes,  “Joy does not come from what you do, it flows into what you do and thus into this world from deep within you.”    

Others fill their lives with possessions … buying up as much as they can.  “…trying to find yourself through things doesn’t work:  The ego satisfaction is short-lived and so you keep looking for more, keep buying, keep consuming.”  “The unchecked striving for more, for endless growth, is a dysfunction and a disease.”  “When you can no longer feel the life that you are, you are likely to try to fill up your life with things.”  Is this why I have so many shoes?   J

The crux of the book in this line in Chapter 3:  “The ultimate purpose of human existence, which is to say, your purpose, is to bring that power [Presence] into this world.”

How do we slow down enough to appreciate the Presence?  How do we quiet our minds to the point where we can appreciate the stillness and become fully present? 

This book has provided such wonderful guidance for so many … and leaves us with questions on how we can incorporate its teachings in our daily lives.

Welcome to my blog!  I hope to share thoughts on my study of life, happiness, spirituality, and human behavior with you.  This is a great way for me to reflect on life as well as a way to gather feedback from others. 

 I am in the midst of plowing through a curriculum on spirituality and the power of thought.  No doubt, much of what I enter will pertain to those studies.

 Good timing for these studies — as Oprah is sharing a 10-week webinar with author Eckhart Tolle, to review his book, “A New Earth.”  Fascinating book!  It gets you to see life and spirituality in a whole new way.  Even readings from the Bible are taking on a new and deeper meaning for me.  Last week I attended a funeral mass for my colleague’s father.  The priest shared the gospel reading John 12:24-25 “Most truly I say to you:  Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains just one grain, but if it dies, it then bears much fruit.  Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life.”  In referring to my spiritual reading, I believe Christ was telling us to let our ego die – so that our inner being, our consciousness, can live.  It is so difficult to let the ego die, it is so strong — and our society encourages it to flourish.  Yet, in order to find real peace, we must detach. 

I wonder what tests life will throw my way this week.  And will I step up to the challenge, or let my ego dictate a reaction?

The Tree of Spirits, above, is an old tree I met while visiting St.Patrick’s Cathedral in Armagh, N.Ireland.  I thought it fitting to post this picture from Ireland on St.Patrick’s day!  And as I write this post, the smell of fresh-baked soda bread wafts through the room.  Yes, I made it myself … an annual tradition!